Gmiz’s Bloggie

I was talking to a giant (i.e. capable guy) when he pleaded with me to share anout my relationship with my girlfriend - how we are able to sustain and build this relationship since 4 years ago when we first started, till today when we are progressing toward marriage.

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So you, yes you - whether attached or single, male or female, I hope what I am gonna share will give you an insight of how a relationship, particularly a godly one, develops. And in return, I hope you will also leave behind something meaningful to share - My entire blog is always centered around being a constructor and an encourager.

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I chose to stayed out of relationship for 3 years from sec4 till end of JC, telling myself tt when i get attached after that, that person must become my wife. It was in my 2nd yr of "singlehood" that I get to know my gf, Mingyan. We began as friends and became confidant to each other -  we saw the best and worst of each other. We remained as best of friends till after I gotten into army tt we got attached.

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Then, ppl around me commented tt "if your gf can stay with you thru’ your army, she can stay with you for life"…some said, "Don’t pin too much hope…just hope for the best, BUT prepare for the WORST." Well, none of these went into my head, because there only exists one statement in my mind - "My gf must be my wife".

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Sounded silly uh?…i dun think so. I thought through a great deal before deciding to commit into this relationship, never look back since.

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Throughout my 3 years of "singlehood" prior to that, I saw many ppl going in and out of relationship. As such, I established in my mind certain principles that I am convicted a relationship should have, in order to guide it to stay progressive, and to stay in God.

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So, just before Mingyan and I got attached, we sat down and discussed about our expectation of each other and of the relationship. The following 3 principles guide us through these past 4 years…

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1. Breaking up is NEVER an option - not even words that suggest the idea of it.

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This requires us to consider carefully before we decide to commit to this relationship. If we do, then we are committed to make it work, just like a marriage.

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Do understand that your words will frame your world - words that are negatively phrased, that lead to suggestion of break-up will actually do great damage and eventually destroy the relationship.

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So, do not say hurting words that suggest break-up, not even think about it!

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2. NEVER put each other down - especially in front of others

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This is the core essence of respect.

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Learning to be edifying to so important, becuase love builds. We agreed not to put each other down in the public/ in front of others, not even if one party is really at fault. Whatever issue there is, we should always, always discuss and settle between ourselves, not publicly.

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3. Agreeing to always put God in the CENTER of the relationship

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Just like God’s Word does not come to make us righteous, but as a reminder to us that we are sinners; agreeing to put God in the centre of this relationship will always bring us back to the same and correct focus - God. This principle has helped us by reminding us tt we’ve drifted away from Him, and there is a need to come back to our Source.

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So now that you have heard what I’ve shared, it’s time to learn from you. Looking forward to hear from you…

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 at 10:40 am and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.